When Jared Went to Work or My Two Cents on the Oscars

Sound advice for Jared 

Jared (minus the stupendous hair sadly) at Sziget 2011

I was actively wondering how on Earth could I connect the Oscars, which I perversely insist on watching live each year, to any of my pictures, when a stupendous opportunity wondrously floated my way: Jared and his superlative hair won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.

Now Jared and his band Thirty Seconds to Mars are usual suspects at Hungarian festivals, and will be duly returning to VOLT this year, to spread mass hysteria among underage females. Since I am not underage anymore, I can’t say that I am particularly tickled by their music, and don’t really understand it’s mass appeal either, as it seems to chronically lack a chorus. Seeing them on Sziget a few years back did nothing but heighten my conundrum, but I do think that the gentleman pictured above gave very sound advice to Jared. He went to work, and duly won an Oscar for it. And on this note, here are my two cents on who did what and why last night:

-After Seth McFarlane last year, Ellen De Generes as host was a breath of fresh air and relief. But I do not want to ever, ever have to subject myself to the mind numbing and eardrum piercing sounds of either Idina Menzel (generally) and Bette Midler (when singing sappy tear jerkers).   John Travolta utterly messing up Idina’s name now seems an act of sweet poetic justice.  Pink and the Wizard of Oz were not my cup of tea either- it just seemed kind of random amid it all, but I do say I’d rather have her belting her soul out for a week that Idina ever hitting half a note of the Award winning crime against humanity.

-To calm down, let me just wrap up all the Awards that made me happy: everything Gravity won, basically, because the film is a milestone and justly deserved all the technical Oscars as such. I would have gladly given it the best film accolade too, as 12 Years a Slave, hyped as it was, did not seem particularly ground breaking to me. It’s a difficult yet very well made film and definitely a necessary one, but a rather similar subject was already touched upon by Quentin Tarantino recently, and I daresay, in a more provocative way.

-This sort of takes me to the acting awards: yes, Lupita totally deserved it and I can only try to imagine how hard it must have been for her to play the part. But then again, Michael Fassbender’s role was in some ways even more demanding as he had to play an epic, twisted bastard. And play that bastard he did, so much so that at some point I just felt pure hatred surge in me and I absolutely forgot that, after all, I’m watching my favourite actor. Which IS probably why I consider him in a league of his own: just as an example, I do like Leonardo di Caprio, but I have this haunting feeling that he keeps playing the same role over and over again- it’s always a bit Leo being wonderful in this and that, whereas with Fassbender- he dares not to be wonderful at all, just be exactly whatever he needs to be. A maniac, a scumbag,  a superhero.  So yes, my personal choice would have been Michael Fassbender, but I do believe Jared to be just as legitimate a choice.

-Since we’re back to Dallas Buyers club: McConaughey blew my mind in the role just as much as Jared did, and it’s fitting that they both won the award, as their interaction is so relevant to the movie itself. The scene when Ron Woodruff sits in the car and the realization of what’s happened to his life hits him is one of the strongest movie moments of the year for me. Regarding the men’s field: I was displeased Oscar Isaac and Joaquin Phoenix did not get nominated as leads, and Daniel Brühl as Niki Lauda should have absolutely been on the list for supporting role.

-The two movies which I couldn’t really connect with were Captain Phillips and American Hustle so I can only agree with the Academy on leaving them out in the cold, where they should be, because Captain Phillips wasn’t particularly thrilling (half the US navy against four desperate Somalis, do give me a break) and American Hustle wasn’t particularly funny- Amy Adams is always lovely but she’s played infinitely better parts and I just don’t get Bradley Cooper. No perm will ever make him a good actor in my eyes, unless he goes through a McConaughey epiphany, which I feel unlikely at this point.

-Nebraska was also left out in the cold, but with this I cannot agree, as it is probably the Alexander Payne movie I love best and Bruce Dern gives a hell of a performance- really, they should have spread out these movies over several seasons, so Dern, McConaughey, Isaac and Joaquin can all win it taking turns. And unlike the more lauded American Hustle, Nebraska is actually funny. And also subtle and thought provoking and melancholy – one of those films that must be made every now and then so we don’t lose all hope in humanity.

-The dresses were kind of lukewarm, none of them was a real crush for me, though I guess Sandra Bullock and surprisingly, Karen O, were almost there. I demand Tilda Swinton to be nominated next year and wear something totally epic that will blow everyone out of the water. Lupita is a darling but she does play it safe and Cate is just magnificent in anything, even a paper towel, so she needs to wear something really extravagant to please me- I’m a pain, I know. Having come thus far- Blue Jasmine was the first movie I watched from this season’s contenders and it is simply brilliant, something no (made up) Woody Allen controversy should overshadow, ever.

-I had a feeling Her would bore me, but it turned out to be the absolute opposite, visually it’s a sheer delight of course, and Joaquin Phoenix really has a way around quiet yet complicated characters. And, rarely was an Oscar for screenplay so well deserved, as this is the kind of story about our generation that just begs and needs to be told.

-As my final remark: Inside LLewyn Devis should have been nominated in many more categories and should have won a bucketload of awards (best film and such) because it’s sublime, but of course the Coens don’t really need any more accolades for anything and it is sort of befitting this movie that it would be shut out from Awards races since it’s the beautiful story of the ultimate, magnificent loser. They should have invented a new category for the cat too, which would have been almost as charming as Benedict Cumberbatch photo bombing U2, which should console them as being so much more awesome than any golden statuette they could have gotten instead.  Sadly for them, they were a truly great band before the Internet became all encompassing, but now they have finally gone viral. Benedict, Thank you Sir, and keep on rocking.