Love The Way You Lip Sync- Sziget Day Zero

There's always that one Sziget day you have to grind your teeth and accept that someone apparently larger than life is gracing the main stage for your own good and the happiness of others. I say your own good because it's clear as daylight that the festival needs big days to pull it along, make it profitable and allow it's overall awesomeness to exist from the circus tent to Sziget beach. The fact that on that particular day the island is overrun with too many people who have no clue as to what a festival actually is and spend their three plus hours glued to the palinka stands around the main stage is just a sad side effect you learn to live with. You do however harbour a hope that whatever the someone larger than life delivers is at least acceptable by it's own standards, and then sometimes you are painfully disappointed and wonder why you had to put up with the Barbarian hordes in the first place. 

But before we arrive to the piece of dubious entertainment which crowned the day, let us talk about really nice things. Like how the organizers moved the Europe Stage to a place where a) even I can find it b) pretty much anyone can very easily find it, so supporting upcoming European acts feels not just like a PR stunt exiled to festival backwaters, but a genuine effort to highlight bands you might not have known otherwise. The crowd was sizable for each act we checked out (Gray Matters from Romania, Snoir from Austria and Sattas from Turkey) with a large group of people from said countries being complemented by a mixed lot of curious onlookers keen to join in whatever was happening- which in the case of Gray Matters was a young lady screaming a lot, Snoir did some guitar pop yodels (being from, ahem, Austria) while Sattas are playing reggae-or so they say on their official website, to me it sounded more like ska, which reggae sometimes does, plus like that I could tick off the 'found random ska band' in the yearly Sziget bingo.

I'll linger a bit longer over Gray Matters, as they are the winners of Romania's Sziget talent competition. I'll also be honest: you'd be hard pressed to find a genre further off my musical radar, improvisational jazz, perhaps. I just now imagined the band's otherwise totally charming lead singer scream out her soul over minimal jazz, and am still contemplating the scariness of the prospect. Coming back to the real world, I have to admit that, although Sziget's metal loving audience has steadily diminished over the years, Gray Matters put on a show that didn't feel out of place, and kept it's pace up to the end, when the band made a poignant tribute to their friend Claudiu Petre, who died in the Colectiv club fire last October, and who was a great Sziget lover and regular. 

Next up was the Lightstage, which besides being a lovely wooden contraption bedecked with, yes, lights, is also situated in an oasis of Italian restaurants, which generally helps boost popularity. Although when I arrived my mind seemed more focused on which panino to get (it ended up rather conventionally being ham and cheese), I was absolutely delighted to discover Teapot Industries, who hail from Rome, play on strange instruments and whose wiki on the content of their lyrics I must quote, because it's just too good to glide over: "Like to Be Alone, Pt.2 is about multiverse travels. If we could travel enough far, we could discover an entire universe identical to ours.In particular Like to Be Alone, Pt.2 is about having sex with your doppelgänger."

Totally energized by the discovery, we headed to the main stage with a pit stop in A38, where Rico & Sticks were playing and of whom we can say, paraphrasing Woody Allen, that it involved the Netherlands. Jake Bugg's set felt more mature that his previous, rather tentative Sziget showing- it always helps when the first song turns out right, and On My One is definitely a fine opener. His rather basic guitar tunes might sound a bit too monotone to some, but they work wonders at setting a very definite and recognizable mood. So it was with a heavy heart that I left the second part to check out MO, but her concert from last year seemed to justify the desertion. 

This year was different though- for some reason the Rihanna loving crowd also turned out to be a MO loving crowd (damn you Diplo) and invaded the A38 tent in spite of the strangely early time slot. There was therefore much pushing and shoving, which is of course not MO's fault at any level, and she was as charming as could be, turned up in the compulsory quirky outfit and delivered her songs with great confidence. But somehow the raw magic of her early days is gone- just like her new tracks, which sound more like something dreamed up by her producer (double damn you Diplo) than herself, it all seems to have lost the fairy dust to a degree. This does of course sound like the age old hipster lament over how things were better before they went mainstream, but the truth is, they sometimes were.

At this point the day turned into a lull before the grand show, with Parov Stelar providing background music from the main stage (just how on Earth did they get there?!) for sipping spritzers and mojitos. By nine a clock the island was almost at full capacity, with all arteries leading to the main stage clogged with people figuring out how to bend the rules of physics and squeeze into non-existing gaps in the crowd. Thus they waited. And waited. And then waited some more. For Rihanna decided all these people squashed into festivaly pulp on a chilly August night are really not worth her efforts, majesty and full attention. She therefore sashayed onto stage at 10, knowing full well that Sziget has an 11 PM curfew, played and copiously lip synced to a barely recognizable medley of her songs, then departed just as superbly carefree as she had arrived. If you want a clearer picture of just how bad the whole thing was, let me elaborate on the moment I was thinking how some fireworks with Avicii would be the thing to light up my mood, and yes, there was that low point when I wished Robbie Williams was there to swing for me. Experience does put things into perspective, doesn't it? I therefore warmly recommend the teachings of the mighty Coen brothers to Sziget's organizers, whom I otherwise love so much: What have we learned from this? Not to do it again. 

I Know What You'll Be Listening to Come August

I might as well start this year’s second Sziget line up review with the same world altering concerns I had last year: the day 0 headliner and the knob fiddler of the end show. So the fiddler is Dutch, who would have thought- there is something super rotten in the kingdom of the Netherlands, and they seem to be producing these absolutely average but ridiculously successful one man acts like other countries make chocolate rolls. Don’t really know how chocolate rolls popped into my mind first, but they seem vastly more entertaining than Hardwell- for that is the man’s name, and with this off my chest, I shall approach the next subject, namely that of Rihanna.

She’s the face majestically staring off into the distance over Margit bridge on the festival’s biggest poster, so we can safely infer she’s therefore it’s biggest star. There’s really no need to argue with that, what certain people argued with is whether Sziget needs such a big star at all. On the day of the announcement Facebook was flooded with posts of how people either thought this is the end of days, or described the speed with which they snapped up their ticket to her show.

On the one hand, Sziget is a big happy place, and can fit both Rihanna and semi unknown acoustic acts, on the other hand, one cannot but think at how many lesser, but festival friendlier acts could have been signed with the same undisclosed amount of money. Rihanna’s fans aren’t necessary the festival going type either, though presumably her presence will give day 0 a whiff of Coachella, which is not necessarily a whiff I’m particularly fond of when foreign influences are concerned.

Luckily, there’s plenty to see and listen to if you’re feeling a bit ANTI- yes, that is a bad joke and I apologize, but sometimes I can’t help it, just like Noel Gallagher couldn’t help badmouthing his brother in the late Oasis days, which in a meandering way led to him coming to Sziget with his oddly name outfit of High Flying Birds. He’d probably be taking offence at his new effort being labelled a poorer attempt at being Oasis, but then again, so is Liam’s Beady Eye, therefore we’re being totally just.

For a more genuine 90s experience, one should probably scurry to whichever tent UNKLE will be playing in- let’s just hope it’s a tent, and it’s late at night, and dark, as it should be, though lately the Sziget programmer has been in a bit of a whimsical mood so fingers crossed we won’t have a trip hop picnic in the blazing island sun.(In the meantime I ogled the press release better and got confirmation that UNKLE will indeed be ensconced in the cozy darkness of A38, but now the trio hop picnic idea sounds strangely appealing.)

There’s plenty of repeat offenders this year as well (and that really isn’t a complaint), though with Manu Chao soon it will be hard to tell when he isn’t in Budapest. Jake Bugg on the other hand is pretty young to be a repeat offender, but the man just likes to tick boxes at such a tender age. Kaiser Chiefs have seen finer days- last time they were in Budapest they got a police escort from the airport to the venue and I bought one of their band T-shirts- but they should still be entertaining enough in one of the earlier Main Stage slots. Skunk Anansie are slowly becoming a Hungarian festival staple in the unlikely company of The Prodigy (who are gracing VOLT this year) and Enter Shikari (who don’t have a Hungarian date for this year yet, and I’m beginning to worry.)

There is of course no Sziget without a reminder of past sins- though I will forever blame missing out on Die Antwoord last time they were on the island on the oft reviled programmer, who scheduled them to go head to head with Kasabian. And one does obviously not desert a Kasabian gig, entertaining as Ninja and Yo-Landi might be. Missing out on Crystal Castles should however qualify as a bigger sin, firstly because I have no idea why I did it, and secondly because this time it’s an Alice Glass-less act, which is missing out on half the fun. Or almost all of it. Bloc Party are also returning with a changed line up, and also, alas, a rather tentative fifth album- but I still expect them to provide more entertainment than Bastille, who are basically back to annoy me. Actually they’re back to make little girls happy, which in the grand scheme of things is not such an objectionable mission. I’m probably just bitter I’m not little anymore.

The World Music stage is basically one big jolly repeat offence as it is, with regulars such as Goran Bregovic (also pretty much always in Budapest, just like Manu Chao), Rachid Taha, Leningrad, Fanfare Ciocârlia or Pannonia Allstars Ska Orchestra all making appearances. It does however give me a little heartbreak not to have Shane MacGowan present, especially given that the man has new teeth and could have finally shown Sziget a smile that wouldn’t scare the living daylights out of us. And it’s also supercool to have some Irish music in general- which reminds me, there was a year when I got free Guinness on Sziget, that’s one idea right there on how to make this year’s edition both appealing to the masses and old school at the same time.

But there’s plenty of new names as well, like Norwegian Aurora- whose wiki page revealed firstly, that she’s ridiculously young, being born in 1996, and that there are several bands by the name of Aurora, one of them being, naturally, a British Christian girl group. Whatever that means. Aurora sports a blonde bob, which comes in very handy to link her to another artist on her first Sziget appearance, Sia.

Good electro is not always easy to find, so it’s double nice that one of the bands who are doing it quite well these days is from Romania- Golan will be playing on the Europa stage, which will also host the winners of the Sziget talent contests held in 16 European countries.

I’ve also successfully identified a lengthy host of artists I have never heard of before- which first threw me into fits of panic along the lines of I’m getting old and disconnected from new music, but then I realized that all Sziget line ups have been similar, it’s just that in the past we weren’t so glued to the Internet, dissecting the line up months in advance.

At some point in mid-summer, the good old PestiEst special edition came out with the programme, and you really couldn’t be bothered with the acts you did’t know, you just focused on the ones you wanted to see and the logistics and financial conundrums of doing that. Riding the wave of online possibilities, I have decided to give all these strange names a chance and listen to at least one of their songs- the verdict, however, is left for the next installment.

Sziget 2014 Diary- Day One

It's the first day in full swing, and a hot and humid one- long queues clog the entrances and all the locations are now up and running. There's circus and opera, street theatres and movies, a beach and a gym, so it seems a bit of a stereotype choice to start the day at the main stage but Jake Bugg is definitely an act to check out. Barely 20, he already has a flock of dutifully screaming groupies, but his music should go down well with more mature audiences as well. There's nothing mind blowing about the performance, it' basically him and his guitar, plus a small band-whose drummer seems out of synch at times- in spite of this, Lightning Bolt ends the set on a high, signalling hopefully grander things to come. Time is definitely on Jake's side.

Jake is followed by one of those bands I can't really fathom- Imagine Dragons. The very name irritates me and I go all grumpy cat style, no, I won't imagine them just because they tell me so. Thier music is also something indefinite, a bit The 1975 style- should be nice in theory, but fails in practice. Unlike The 1975 though, the live show seems to work for these ones- what was utterly dull and lacklustre on the radio comes alive on the stage, and sucks the audience in its vibe. Imagine Dragons might not be your music of choice for home listening, but were born to play festivals. I would hazard saying that Sziget should have kicked old school Placebo in the butt and shoved the Dragons in the later slot, for the snooze fest to follow fell particularly flat between Imagine Dragons and Skrillex. This is not necessarily a compliment to the two though. It's just a fact- they're not sleep inducing, whereas this time Placebo truly were.

It's safe to say that the quality of Placebo's Sziget concerts can be predicted based on Brian Molko's hair day- and this one was rubbish. The hair was a classic Darth Vader helmet, unmoving like the coiffure of a wax statue. The feeling of the concert itself was something alike a statue's unmelted heart- they pretended to he happy to be back, but seemed to be actually, utterly bored, like a 9 to 5 office worker who decides today will be the day she will spend browsing cat videos and taking long trips to the coffee dispensing machine.If she is then asked to do anything worthwhile she'll just mess it up quietly- and so did Placebo, rushing into some songs at a frenetic but out of place speed and inexplicably slowing down into others. They'll probably be back some time soon though, hopefully in the wake of a better album and well, let's just pray Brian finds a proper hairdresser as well.

The moment Skrillex dropped his first bass on the unsuspecting crowd was the moment I ran for my life to the A38 tent. Miles Kane is often mentioned as the other guy, and people glide over the fact that his Last Shadow Puppets project works so sublimely because both Alex Turner and himself are so pivotal to the sound and the atmosphere of the tracks. His evening slot on Sziget came to prove what an extraordinary musician and showman he is.For 75 minutes it felt like meeting an alien, coming from a planet of superlative music, where we're all guitar gods, we all dance flawlessly to the rhythm and everyone is a good guy out to have the time of their lives. Every Sziget has one concert that you expect to be good, but it turns out borderline perfect. In 2014, although this was only the first official day, Miles Kane most definitely takes the prize.

You know a concert was awesome when any other music listened to immediately after it sounds like an insult to your ears. Therefore we cannot say anything about Clean Bandit except that they filled in for London Grammar and looked rather spectacular on stage.As for the music, give me some more Miles Kane, thank you.